There are many types love relationships and one of them is the codependent relationship. To find out whether your relation matches this category or not, first you need to know what exactly a codependent relationship is.
Being in love with someone is to value that person a lot, to do things to make that person happy, and to sometimes even forego one’s choices and likes just in order to make him or her happy. So far so good, but the problem called codependent starts when one partner or both the partners in a relationship start loving their partner so very much that they tend to forego their own needs, wants and desires. It is like loving your partner more than yourself, so much that you forget loving yourself.
Codependency to a certain extent is fine and makes the partners feel special and blessed. A temporary sacrifice of your own need is fine but not a permanent sacrifice. People often take codependency for intense love but in reality, it is fear, not love. Couples and other people fail to decide whether their relationship is codependent or not but once you know the following signs of codependency, you certainly would not face any difficulty finding the answer.
You blame other for how you feel
Our feelings do depend on others also but primarily we ourselves make ourselves happy or sad. Unless we are happy from within, nobody else could make us happy, so blaming others for the feelings you get is wrong, and is a sign of a codependent partner.
Lack of self-love
A codependent person gives tremendous love to his partner but in return receives frustration and disheartenment. This is because such a person has no self-love, and expects a lot, sometimes keeps invalid expectations from his partner, which often goes unfulfilled. Then such a person starts feeling frustrated and sad not because it is his partner’s mistake but his own mistake. They fail to understand that in order to get love in return, one must have love for oneself.
Too much of dependence on the partner
Codependent partners are too much dependant on their partners and feel that they cannot live without their partners. Again, many of you might think that there is nothing wrong with this feeling, in fact it is downright romantic. Those of you who are thinking this way are wrong because this dependency shows no love but lack of inner strength and lack of confidence in oneself.
Codependent people never experience freedom, as they are always up to sacrifice their own happiness and likes just to make their partner happy. They do this willingly because such people think sacrifice is the best for m of love. Before thinking about their happiness, they think about their partner’s happiness. Doing so until a certain extent is fine but too much of it makes you codependent.
A love relationship is between two grownup people who love each other mutually, but codependents make their relationship like the one between a parent and child, wherein the parent plays the role of a caregiver. Everybody likes the fact if someone cares for them but too much of care can be suffocating, especially in love relationships.
Do you feel that you do many sacrifices in the name of your love relationship but never get what you desire in return? If yes is your answer then this could mean that you are trapped in a codependent relationship. Usually teenagers get into the habit of pleasing their elders through subverting their own needs develop into people with codependency.