A break up does not just end the relationship, it also puts a pause on your otherwise usual life and pushes you towards a journey of self-interrogation. Especially if you are not the one who initiated (or expected) the break up. So its over, but you are left with a lots of ‘Whys’ that stick to you and feed on your brain like a tick, an itch that you have to scratch.
So you seek closure, you ask your partner why this and why now, what exactly did you do wrong. But does it matter and is it healthy, we have reasons proving otherwise.
- You are not the issue
Asking for the reason you got dumped for is like asking someone to trash your self esteem and throw it down garbage disposal. Hearing all your shortcomings will only lower your self confidence when now, is the time you need it the most.
- Forever questioning your abilities
Once your ex has described all the things that they thought you did wrong it cannot be undone. Even if you date someone new, your mind will keep second guessing your behavior and no one needs that in a relationship.
- The constant comparison and the endless promises
It is possible that when your ex tells you of the things they would want to change in you, your anxious mind takes it up as a challenge and you start trying to change yourself to fit the image that one person deems perfect. This is damaging to your own persona , so stop!
- Did you actually get the genuine reason at all?
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There is a strong chance that your ex may not give you the correct reason at all. So give it a rest, focus on yourself and not on what a person who used to be in your life thought about you. If your ex chose to end it, then respect the decision and move on.