Believing a couple who says they never fight is like believing a thing that is too good to be true. This is because no two individuals are same, so no matter how intense is the love between two people, some or the other conflict does take place.
Yes, what matters is the way a couple handles it. Some do it aggressively, while some others rely on the fair fighting approach. This approach comprises of healthy conflict resolution skills that work wonders for the long-term success of any relationship. Here is a rundown on some of the fair fight skills or rules you must learn:
Confrontation is must
One thing that makes the situation worse is when either or both the partners do not confront each other but rely on third parties or social media to express their anger. Better way is to confront the conflict directly because no other person or a platform knows you and your partner better than you know.
“You always” and “You never” are dangerous
If you are in the habit of telling these two things to your partner, beware. Suppose you are upset because your partner could not make it to accompany you to the shopping mall, and you tell him, “you never come with me for shopping,” and a wide assortment of instances like this.
You say this without even realizing that how much it will hurt your partner who takes you for shopping whenever possible. This can make your partner believe that you are selfish and do not care for his feelings. Therefore, never mention these things; always be specific, as to mention that you are upset because today he did not accompany you.
Do not aim to win the fight
First, you must not consider it a fight but a healthy and an open argument. It should be an argument that you do not desire to win but to become closer to your beloved. You should speak your mind and should give equal opportunity to your partner to express himself/herself. Express yourself properly and allow the same to your partner.
Negotiate, compromise and move forward
Every argument you have with your partner must end up in a negotiation and compromise. This is because a good relationship is all about adjusting and staying together with respect for each other’s feelings. Once the argument is over, settle on something that suits both the partners and take your relationship forward.
It is impossible to be in a relationship wherein partners never fight. Fights and conflicts do take place and it is of paramount importance that a couple indulges in a fair fight that makes relationships long lasting.