We see couples and singles consistently all around us. However, some people never wish to get out of their comfort zone and experiment with the concept of dating. They seem content with their own selves and are seldom seen looking for a compatible life partner. There may be plenty of reasons for this sort of behavior, like having varied interests, fear of rejection, being a workaholic, history of heartbreaks, or dating phobia.
What is dating phobia?
Dating phobia is a phenomenon not many people are aware of. It happens when people, irrespective of their gender, are afraid or hesitate to meet prospect life partners or to get romantically involved with anyone. If you fall into the category of such people who are always single despite having no apparent reason for being so, you may be suffering from dating phobia. Read and study more about it, understand the signs, and connect the dots.
How do you know if you have dating phobia?
There are many signs that clearly mention ‘Phobia’ only if one knows how to carefully look for them. As far as dating is concerned you need to keep an eye out for red flags like the ones mentioned below.
Fear of rejection:
You may be too fearful to experience failures and accept the fact that someone may end up not liking you enough to date you. This feeling is totally justified for someone who is too engrossed in themselves. However, the possibility of you facing a rejection is the same as being liked, and that must not stop you from going out there and looking for a life partner.
Ugly romantic experiences:
Prior history of romantic relationships turning out bad may leave a sour taste in your mouth, enough to make you scared of love and keep you away from venturing anywhere close to that territory. You may have been cheated upon or faced an ugly breakup. But don’t let your past get in the way of a beautiful present and a promising tomorrow.
Fear of commitment:
You may think that you are not worthy of commitment or that you may not be able to uphold a promise. Some people just don’t want to settle for one individual and prefer flittering from one person to another in non-committed relationships. This is also a form of dating phobia where people choose to have casual flings without any ‘strings attached’.
Being extremely introverted or shy:
This is not just limited to dating but extends to friendships and other relationships too. Shy and introverted people seldom wish to mingle amongst new individuals and make new friends, let alone dating. If that’s the case, then you may be going through an acute form of social anxiety.
What can you do to address it?
Accept it:
A condition correctly diagnosed is half-cured. Accept the fact that you have this psychological limitation, and make conscious efforts to work your way out of it. You may be scared of love, but can very well address it with the correct measures.
Work on communication skills:
Not just for phobia of dating, but for all other social interactions, you need to have good communication skills. This will increase your confidence and improve your chances of landing the right partner multiple folds.
Stop trying too hard:
We get to that you want to come across as likable, but compromising your self-respect in the process of impressing your date is a big turn-off for most people. Be it a guy or a girl, sane individuals prefer having a partner with an individual personality rather than someone who just gives in to their demands at the drop of a hat.
Conclusion:
Having dating phobia is not the end of the world. True that it is a sort of physiological disturbance, but it can be dealt with. All you need to do is get out of your comfort zone and embrace change. Take baby steps to help you reach where you want to be.
Don’t try too hard, lest you wish to come across as desperate, and never pretend to be someone you are not. Be yourself and behave accordingly, especially on your first date. Meet new people, one at a time, and bid goodbye to your social anxiety. If all goes well, you will be surprised at how easy and smooth the process can be.
