How Do You Have An Amazing Relationship?
It would have been much easier if this list was compiled from countless interviews with happy couples who shared with me what they had learned from years of mistakes and failures. They would have told me how they got to where they are today and I would write down what they said so I could share it here.
But that’s not what happened…
I am no expert and like most people, I have made many mistakes and I will continue to make more. The most important thing is being aware of the reasons behind those mistakes and learning continuously.
Like anything worth having, a good relationship isn’t easy. They reflect everything we feel inside and we project our internal emotions onto the other person constantly. Self awareness becomes a necessity to help us understand the impact we are having on the other person and by improving this, our quality of life improves.
By applying these thoughts, I feel confident and I have a bigger ability to give in my relationship and I hope it does the same for you.
1. Honesty, Honesty, Honesty
This isn’t necessarily as black and white as it may seem. Honesty is about being sincere with your partner when it comes to what you want out of a relationship and how you are feeling at any moment.
The term ‘being yourself’ is often misused and in a relationship, you have to learn to become 100% authentic. This is the only way you will create the environment you both need.
Honesty in a relationship is an obvious requirement. Giving your partner the same courtesy you would expect is very important. Respecting yourself enough to respect your partner is what it’s about.
2. Think About What You Can Give
Being in a committed relationship should mean that you are always thinking about what you can give your partner.
Making the decision to always be thinking about what you can give instead of what you can take, will nourish the relationship and it will become a source of energy for the both of you.
The famous quote could have said; ‘ask not what your relationship can do for you, but what you can do for your relationship’.
3. Make Yourself Vulnerable
Being out of your comfort zone is never easy but this is the only area of growth we have. In a relationship, this can be a time when you express how you feel, give an honest account of your past or when you admit you made a mistake.
You are opening yourself up to criticism. This vulnerability is letting go and being authentic.
Allowing your true emotions to come out, and allowing someone else to do the same is what a true relationship is about.
4. Take The Blame First
When a problem or conflict occurs, as is inevitable to happen, look at yourself as the cause of the issue first. It goes without saying that you should act with compassion and understanding but as well as that, ask yourself if this is something that you created and how you could have avoided this situation.
It’s easy to blame the other person, but being in a relationship is about holding yourself accountable and being honest. See yourself as the cause of the problem first and solve it.
This thought process will make you look for any underlying issues and stop you blaming others when you should be looking at yourself first.
5. Be There
Spending time with your partner means being in the moment and present with them. It doesn’t mean texting, answering the phone to talk to your friends, or being distracted with what you have going on at work.
All of these can wait.
When you are in their presence, appreciate and respect it. Listen deeply. Close off the rest of the world. Look into their eyes. Be together and not just around each other.
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